A lesson in high context culture

Shoot….. I know I have to post about my awesome field trip last week but my internet has been so awful. There hasn’t been wireless in days but there are only 8 computers in the university computer lab that have wired internet (and the lab isn’t even open on Sundays). This means to get internet you have to fight for a computer during the week or go to a café and pay (which may or may not actually get you internet that goes faster then the speed of dial-up). Anyway, that’s what’s going on with the lack of posts. However, I WILL post on my field trip soon with pics. I leave to go an island hoping vacation Friday so before then for sure.

BUT…. I just have to post about my 200^th cultural/language mistake that I made last night. It’s a long story but it’s pretty funny. Here goes:

So I did laundry this morning and noticed my host Mom cleaning up around the house. This is fairly normal for a Sunday so I wasn’t too surprised. She also seemed a little distracted but this also is fairly normal. I didn’t think twice about it. I went to the market, did some homework, and came back around 11:30am to hang my clothes on the line. I noticed all the furniture was pulled out but she was sweeping so again, this didn’t seem unusual. I even commented to a friend that I thought my Mom was really doing a thorough cleaning today!

I came home briefly before dinner (which was with the university tonight) around 5pm but went to my room to work on some hw with just a brief hello. Mom and Dad seemed preoccupied cooking dinner anyway…

I came home from dinner at 8pm and shut the main door. This meant I locked the door. This is also normal. This is the door to the outside on the first floor. The main ‘house’ door is on the second floor.

Shutting the door was quite the thing my first two weeks here. Since I don’t have a key (and neither does anyone else apparently) it’s important that everyone is in the house before the outside door is shut and also that the last person (often me) shuts the door to lock it. Well after learning the word for “close” (an important one when someone is trying to explain this whole concept) I thought we’d pretty much had a system down. I no longer asked when I came in if I should shut the door because usually it was obvious either someone was out or obvious that Mom and Dad were home and ready for bed.

SO. It’s 8pm and I’ve shut the door. I said a quick ‘hola’ to my Dad and went to my room to work on my homework (I have a lot due on Friday so I was really focused). I did notice the furniture was still spread out and there was some new decorations but other then noting this I really didn’t think about it. It really wasn’t that unusual.

Suddenly, at around 8:30pm, I think I hear a voice from below calling for my host Dad. It sounded like Isa (the little 5 yr old grandchild that’s often over). I waited a moment to see if he’d answer. Nothing. A minute later I heard the voice again and some banging on the main door. I figured she might be coming to stay over so I left my room and went to the window to see if she was there. I had already changed into my pink plaid pj pants and my hair was in a ridiculous bun to keep it off my face since it was salty from swimming earlier.

Oh boy. I leaned out the screenless window and not only was Isa there but there were 25 women processing in the street with candles. The women of the family (my grandma, her daughter, the granddaughters, etc) were in white and they were chanting Hail Marys (even I could figure that out). My Dad asked what was happening from across the room and I said “I don’t know” and he looked out the window. He looked, saw everyone and seemed to understood, and then seeing my confusion said something to me about a woman and a procession and something else.

“Si?” he said (as in, get it?)

“Oh, si, si” I said (as in, yeah, kinda, sorta, “ish”)

I looked out again and I see my Mom. She waved, I waved. All smiles. No big deal. I leaned back inside.

Moments later my Dad gets a call and his eyebrows raise very high. “En serio!?” he says and runs down the stairs. (En serio = seriously).

The door. They were trying to process INSIDE. The furniture was all moved so everyone could sit. They were having a church service IN the house.

(I know…. Everyone who likes to figure out the climax of the story knew four paragraphs ago something like this was going to happen. However, cut me some slack, I didn’t expect a whole church service in our house at 9pm on a Sunday – esp with my parents who rarely have people over or go out. PLUS everything was in Spanish and cultural and contextual cues all seem very different here. And yes, I did have a slight nagging feeling in the back of my head that I should unlock the door but not a strong enough feeling to actually act on it in time.)

Anyway, I’ll spare you all the details, as I know I’m rambling. However, there was a whole service, singing, food, etc. After throwing my jeans back on and running a brush threw my hair I sat in the corner near the doorway with no clue as to whether I was suppose to participate, observe, stay in my room…..

I ducked into my room after the service when everyone starting chatting. When I came out after most people had left my Mom and Dad and their daughter and grandkids had a very good long laugh with me about the door (again, only ½ of which I actually understood). I think we were laughing together (you know, with me and not at me) but I’d probably have laughed at me too. Luckily they didn’t seem angry, just amused and slightly bewildered. I think they realized I couldn’t have known.

Oh. And just to top it off – I tried to ask “Can I help you?” (Puedo ayudarte?) after everyone had left (as in, “can I help clean up?” – you know, to make up for this door thing). However, “ayudarte” is one of a couple common words that really does not roll off my tongue well. My Mom didn’t really understand what I said so I tried to say I could wash the dishes. This somehow came across as “I want a dish of food” which led to:

“It’s chicken, Tina”

“No, that’s ok. I can wash dishes with chicken”.

“Ok.”.

Then she went to get me a plate of food…..

Oy vey. :0)

I politely declined, went up and got my laundry off the line, and went off to finish my hw. Quite the night. Very funny J

Oh, and if you’re wondering WHY there was a church service in my house…. well… I have no idea. Something about a woman… there was lots of Hail Mary, singing about “my heart”, lots of “baby Jesus, alleluia, salvation, etc” (typical church words) plus lots of other words that I didn’t understand.

First I thought it was a first communion since the grandchildren were in white. Then I thought it was a celebration of the anniversary of a death. They left two baby Jesus figurines and a candle burning when they went to bed though. So then I realized I have no idea. I think my Dad tried to explain it back when he was telling me about the procession but that was before I knew there was going to be 25 people in the house so when I said I understood…. Well…. I meant “more or less” which is pretty standard for me (just emphasis on the less this time).

Right. Anyway. Live, learn, laugh, keep going. J

(But, just in case, I think I’ll be asking if it’s ok to shut the door again, at least for a while!) 

And a closing picture, just for fun!